


Snowdrops

by Dreamreaper



Category: HideKane - Fandom, Shironeki/Hide, Tokyo Ghoul, suzuhaise
Genre: AU, All the Kanekies are different persons sharing a body with Haise., Could turn out to be emotionally abusive to Akira., M/M, OOC? Well may be. My vision is different... Or better to say weird..., Stupid romance, arima has a secret crush, major fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-04-04 16:26:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4144596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamreaper/pseuds/Dreamreaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weird mess of domestic fluff, romance, dates and stupid things. </p>
<p>Btw I renamed chapters with flower names (yes I have no idea how to call something decently XP). Thought it'll be easier now... But fuck! How the hell am I supposed to call the entire work now?! Flowerbed????!!!!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Snowdrops

**Author's Note:**

> It's an AU where Shironeki, Kuroneki, Ghoulneki and Haise are different persons somehow sharing one body and able to go separately for limited time in case if they are synchronized. Hope to explane this theory later. Nothing serious or tragic should be expected anyway... XP  
> P.S. Arima is NOT in love with Akira. No relationships between them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinx squad had a small party at home (without serious reason - just why not?) and Haise and Juuzou somehow kissed.  
> Actually idea was inspired by the Christmas party in TG:re. But I didn't mean it to be Christmas.

-Stupid bottle game! Can't believe he's participating in it! - Shironeki frowned slamming his hand over black and white patterns of the wall. Dark-haired boy with a laptop in front of him smiled soothingly:  
-It's just a game. Please don't get mad. U're making it even harder to synchronize U, Number4 and Haise in proper system. Just don't pay attention, ok?   
Shiro almost growled and turned back to the window from where he was able to see the world around. By Haise's eyes. Kuro could swear he saw a trace of envy on his face... Envy and longing for someone who wasn't in the room outside...

*****************************

-Mamaaaan! - Saiko almost fell on Sasaki pecking his cheek clumsily. For the 4th time already. Telling the truth all the game was Akira's idea, just to have an excuse to kiss Arima. But as soon as he joined the circle, he got an email, looked at it with almost terrified expression and left immediately dragging Akira away too.   
\- U know what... Mutsuki thoughtfully scratched the bottle - I saw his phone... When he got a message there wasn't any name written but I noticed a heart instead of it...   
-Shinigami is in love?! - Shirazu almost jumped in amazement and poked Sasaki's side - Sassan! U must investigate it! We'll blackmail him and get everything we want!  
-Ummmm... And what exactly do U want that's worth such a risk?... - Hanbie's effort to bring them back from the bright road of insanity failed completely...  
-Snacks!!  
-Yeah! Yeah! We want snacks!   
-Is my cooking so baaad??!!!   
-And gaaaames!  
-And all of U to die...   
-Aghrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!  
-Maman!  
-Trick or treat!!!

************************

-Dumb kids... - Shironeki sigh  
curling into a ball near Kuro. It was too loud for him even to read... But black haired admin of Kaneki family (at least he had no idea how else could he call their interaction) already knew the reason of Shiro's nervous and bitter state. They didn't talk about it but it's not really necessary for now.   
-Do U want me to give U headphones?   
He could just never asked... Shironeki frowned hiding his face. Kuro looked at the red and orange headset laying near the laptop and stroked white hair with a sympathy... He missed him badly as well... Only hope to meet him again after synchronization with Haise made it bearable. But not for Shiro. Now Kuroneki was sure. Despite of the shortage of interaction Shiro had fallen for Hide completely... 

************************

...And again Kuki had to kiss Shirazu... Cursing and clinching his teeth he blindly pecked blond's face earning some gigles from Sassan. Fucking dumb. How could he don't understand that the reason for Urie to join this idiocy was only the chance to kiss him. But somehow it's always missing. What a fuck with this life?..  
This time Juuzou spinned the bottle giving others some short relaxed minutes. Somehow all the quinx squad felt ok with being kissed by weirdly beautiful boss... Or may be not all...   
...When the bottleneck pointed on Haise he already was rather red and all the black-and-white room inside his mind were filled with deadly loud whisper: "NotToBlushNotToBlushNotToBlushNotTo..." 

*******************************

-Idiot... - muttered Shironeki covering his ears. Although it was clear he wasn't really angry. Kuro ran his fingers over the keyboard and sigh apologetically. He had no access to the blushing function...

*************************

It stopped. Mercilessly pointing on Sasaki.   
Juuzou slightly shivered still unsure but... It's just like balancing on the rope right? Even if U make a wrong move U won't have a chance neither to improve nor to regret. Fear will show the way... He got close to Haise in one almost unnoticeable move and reached the corner of his mouth with lips. Just a small touch. Even too short to be completely noticed. Juuzou rushed back forcing an awkward laugh and hearing the same from the other side of the circle.   
[They are laughing. That's ok, right? They're always laughing or getting mad. It's better to hear laugh although the result is always the same...]   
He smiled widely as he used to do.  
-That's a second time in my life I'm kissing a person. - he noticed with his usual joyfully insane expression. - First time was when I said goodbye to Shinohara-san... Eh, Hanbie? What?   
Hanbie's hand layed on Juuzou's shoulder in comforting gesture. ...And then everyone noticed that the bottle is spinning already...

*************************

-At least he made a move! - proudly insisted Number4 (pureblooded Ghoul, who suffered from so tough amnesia, it was even impossible to choose a nickname for him yet...) staring attentively to the window. Kuro frowned hopelessly trying to reboot frozen reflexes of Haise:   
-But who said it will stop where we need?..  
-Noone, fuck my life. But U won't know until U try. - Ghoul grinned and added almost dreamily - Ehhh... May be he will go on a date... As for me I never had a date but alwa... Ouch!!!  
-DoN't EvEn MeNTioN tHe DaTE NeAR Me! - and Kuroneki pinched Ghoul's leg again... 

**************************

How the hell could Number4 know it when he pushed Haise's hand??!! But it stopped right in front of the flawless porcelain beauty who's insane smile and ultimate strength and sad backstory always made Sasaki's heart beat faster. But... Hopeless... He's just an awkward experiment with broken memory and strange hair color. There's no hope boss Suzuya will ever like him... So why not to play a local comic? Piece of laugh mixed with a piece of shame... This way Juuzou won't suspect something. At least he will always be able to bring him a bento and smile like an idiot looking at the box in his hands, and try to put all the love into stupid homemade snacks every time.   
...Warmth of his skin... It's not close enough for a human to feel it but Sasaki's ghoul senses received it clearly. Just like his unique scent: shampoo and perfume and something else. Something only his just like voice timbre and sounds of steps. Something a bit sweet and a bit bitter... And very-very enjoyable. No. Not like meal or coffe... Something from distant memories... Or maybe not so distant... Flowers? Definitely. Flowers... That very fragile things which are able to break the asphalt or survive the winter cold... Snowdrop?... Blossoming right in the snow requesting nothing but the Sun... Can I be the Sun for U, Juuzou?...   
...His heart beats so fast. And breath is unstable... Maybe he is disgusted by this miserable attempt?.. 

***********************

-How long is he going to procrastinate???!!! Do something!!!! Make him move!!!! - Ghoul almost hang onto Kuro's shoulders shaking him furiously. But admin just pushed him away:  
-I'm trying to do what I CAN do!  
Being busy with fighting each other and concerning about Haise's personal life they didn't even notice when white haired boy got up and moved close to the window:   
-Are U two sure that's where Haise's eyes are?...  
Kuroneki nodded gulping. Usually this Shiro's intonations meant he's gonna use all his strength at once... And it never happened in good circumstances... He crunched his finger stepping a bit backward:   
-Be ready to fix him...   
Kick into the wall. With such a strength that all the room were shaken. Shironeki breathlessly fell on the floor. He'll need to sleep until tomorrow to recover after such a release of power.   
-Did it work? - weakly asked Shiro letting Number4 to move him close to Kuro. Ghoul looked at the unexpectedly black window and greened proudly:  
-I guess we all know what did he closed his eyes for... 

***********************

Telling the truth Ghoulneki wasn't completely mistaken. That was exactly what Haise was going to do when Shiro's kick from inside the head unexpectedly pushed him forward. And yes, he almost kissed boss Suzuya because of it. Almost. In the very last moment he slightly lost balance, blindly made an attempt to find a support and placed hand on that very bottle... And of course fell down with his face right into Juuzou's laps...  
Bursts of laughter all around... It's better if they're laughing. Although the result is always the same... But... What exactly are they laughing at?.. Special class Suzuya looked at the Sasaki awkwardly spreaded on the floor then at the hiccuping quinx squad... Is he supposed to laugh to?.. Sometimes it's so unspeakably distant - human's world... Or is it better to say - another creature's word... It's distant. And foreign. But Sasaki's head on laps feels so strangely comfortable... And even comforting... And his hair look so soft... Almost unconsciously Juuzou stroke short black and white locks. And when Haise pulled himself together enough to raise his head even Saiko wasn't surprised that maman and boss Suzuya ended up kissing without even noticing the whole world around...   
Hanbie pressed a finger to lips and gave the quinx squad a sign to follow him to the kitchen. After all he's really able to cook something tasty for these dorks as a compensation. And it seemed necessary to stay with them for the night. As long as boss Suzuya and investigator Sasaki didn't seem to be available soon...


	2. Sunflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're trying to send Shiro to meet Hide...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shinki - I mean "holy sword" in Japanese mythology. If I'm not mistaken... 
> 
> As far as I know emails and mobile messages are united in the one system in Japan.

-This is bad... - Kuroneki frowned looking at Haise with his most serious expression and nodded to Shiro's side lowering his voice - he is like that since yesterday. Refusing to cooperate, to talk. Shit! Even to get up!  
Haise sigh looking at the silver-haired boy curled up in ball in the corner. In situations like that he always saw him as a little kid. Although he knew it's just his perception.  
\- We should try it... - he nodded to the own thought looking at nowhere. Then turned to Kuro again and waved to Ghoulneki who shyly kept the distance all the time. Despite of smiles and kind attitude of Sasaki he was still awaired of the investigator. Although (Kuro could say it for sure) he definitely liked "maman".  
\- Can he replace U for some time? I need U there with Shiro. I guess U'll be able to support him better then anyone else.  
Kuroneki sigh in agreement. Yes. Ghoulneki is able to administrate their system in daily tasks. But for the God's sake! SUPPORT??!! He'd better be awaire of Shiro going berserker. Not about supporting... Definitely Haise is looking on the world through the weirdest glass of rainbows and cinnamon rolls. How the hell was he managed to survive till this day??..  
Sasaki's hand layed on soft silver hair of half-ghoul ruffling it in comforting guesture:  
\- Hey, Shiro. Let's try to let U out, ok? I've got Hide's email.  
Monster began to get up. Slowly. As an ultimate death waking up from thousands years of sleep... With head being still lowered and unclear whisper under his breath:  
\- t-t-t-thank-k-ks...  
Shiro blinked trying not to look at his Neki-family and somehow turned even more red then he was...  
************************  
Telling the truth it wasn't the easiest task anyway - to let Shiro out. Not to mention right here - in Arima's apartment. Although... It was Arima who found Hide's data somehow. But hell... How did he do it??? All Haise got to know from their mysterious (or just weird) mentor - that it wasn't done through CCG. On the top of that he insisted on keeping this in secret from other doves... Interrrrrresting... Sasaki smiled to his thoughts. He had some ideas about Shinigami's secrets after all...  
-Ready! - Ghoulneki's voice from inside the head almost woke him up. Ok... Concentrating... Releasing one kagune... Not to hurry... Not to make uncontrollable moves... It's just a weapon... Build-in weapon. So it can be removed for some time. Not to hurry... Not to make uncontrollable moves... Just let it go... Ghoul's souls are living in kagune... Even when the whole body is destroyed the ghoul exists until his kagune is not eliminated or eaten. But even after being eaten there's always a high possibility that eaten one will suppress the true owner of the body. And of course souls are still alive inside quinkqies. They can loose memories and self-realizing but they're still there. Just the energy of the case is to weak to wake them up. Haise shivered from this thought. He still couldn't say for sure did it give him creeps or hopes...  
\- It worked!!!! - the voice is definitely unknown. But absolutely familiar at the same time. Black haired boy set on the sofa. Right on the place where his right kagune layed a second ago. Kuro moved his hands with an unsure expression, tugged own sweater and frowned:  
-...strange feeling... And... I thought I was wearing something else... Ummm... Last... Time...  
\- Don't worry. It's ok. - Haise almost clapped his hands. - Arima-oto-san told me it's possible - as long as your body consists from kagune only for now, it takes the most common for U form. The way U used to see yourself or something like that... So this clothes is a part of kagune too!  
\- Part of kagune?... Hmmm... - another voice. A bit lower then Kuroneki's. How the hell was he managed to possess a form that fast?.. Sasaki turned to Shiro. Instead of the battle suit he turned out to wear something like barmen's uniform. A bit old-fashioned by the way... Haise smiled to his living quinkqies. Brightly and stupidly:  
\- Welcome home, guys!!  
...Shironeki's muttered:"Like hell it's our home..." was completely drawned into Goulneki's scream:  
\- Me! Me! Don't abandon meeee!!!! Take me home too!!!!!!!!!  
***************************  
\- ... Maman leveled-up... - pensively commented Saiko passing by. Without any particular interest.  
\- Ehhh?! Saiko?! Why aren't U sleeping? It's a deep night already! - Sasaki made a fuzz from nothing. (Really mother-hen as it is...) - Listen, U will pass levels faster if U sleep well.  
Telling the truth he was ready for complete ignore, or muttered grumpy complaines or crunching of snacks with a rebellion look. But not for the following:  
\- Ginshi is scared and can't sleep. We played a new game but it's boring without snacks.  
\- Scared??? - in three voices. - What on the earth...  
\- He said something was sleeking near the window. - she cut them off with the same uninterested intonations.  
\- Ghoul... - stated Shiro immediately standing between his unchosen squad and a window - Wake up your fucking Arima. Noone but Aogiri elite could dare to get close to your dumb Shinigami's location.  
\- It's not a ghoul.  
\- How could U know??!! - again in three voices.  
Saiko sigh rolling her eyes. Obviously. Maman's shinkies are as shitheaded as manan himself:  
\- Ginshi. Can. Feel. Their. Smell. - she looked at them to be sure they got the message - He said he saw something walking in the air outside. He said at first he thought it was a ghoul crawling the wall. But when looked out it turned to him. It was nopperabu. It was all black with a mask instead of a face like ghouls do. But it smelled like nothing. It not only didn't smell like ghoul. It didn't smell like ANY living creature.  
\- That's true! -Ginshi appeared in the doors with a bright flush of embarrassment on his still pale from shock face. Of course he heard everything from the bedroom... Despite of the palace-size of apartment all the quinkqies squad had a habit to stay close to each other all the time. Just like baby-animals in the nest. So Kuki complained on the lack of the privacy for reason...  
\- I'm telling the truth! Wind was to my side. There wasn't a slightest chance I won't smell it! But there was nothing. It stayed almost in front of me but I felt only something like rain or rainy wind. Fuck! This could be anything but the living creature!!!  
Shiro looked at the window again. Strange feeling... Something acquainted but he definitely never knew it. Something he almost understood but surely wasn't able to realize yet...:  
\- Lets go. To look at your nopperabu. 

The first secret turned out to be solved easily: there were equipment of the workers who repaired the building facade left. But even if somebody was able to get this far using it without being noticed it didn't explain why Ginshi didn't smell it anyway. Shironeki made a couple of steps on the woods while others successfully made a living mess on the windowsill. Nothing. Nothing resembling any life form. Just like Shirazu said... But. Something small layed on the next window ledge. A box? Small box and something like a paper stuck to it. He made another step to that side but at that very moment a person appeared from the window, took the box and looked around unsurelly. Shiro hardly had time to jump back to the room almost stepping on the other buddies. Of course the receiver of the strange gift set was their Shinigami.  
\- What on the earth is he planning?.. - Kuki somehow appeared even before the window operation began (as well as Mutsuki) - It's clearly suspicious. Was it something illegal or...  
\- It's wasn't... It was a gift of love. - Shironeki's answer sounded unexpected even for himself.  
\- What???????!!!!!!!!  
Kuroneki met endlessly sad gray gaze, blushed a bit remembering their unwillingly shared secret and turned to others:  
\- Believe him. He just... Had a reason to know...


	3. Sunflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're still trying...

Of course the only reason to guess was easy: two years ago Shironeki tried to do almost the same to Hide. He followed him in gloomy streets time to time trying to stay unnoticed, sneaked closer in the crowd and even wanted to leave a gift on Hide's window ledge. But ended up quitting it all because of the fear to drag Hide into troubles. At first he told himself it's because of Kuroneki. That it's Kuro who's missing Hide that badly. Of course he did. But sooner or later Shiro had to admit the only truth - the one who wanted it all the most was him.  
************************  
\- C'mon! Write something to him already! - Kuro pushed Shironeki's side after almost half of an hour of dead silence. All this time Shiro set frozen with Haise's cellphone and open message. Quinkqies buddies positioned themselves in a circle around the coach. As if somebody invited them... He turned to Kuroneki's side with a blank expression but pure panic was easily readable in watery gray depth.  
\- If U don't know what to say U can just send him a poem. - absent-mindedly noticed Mutsuki.  
\- That's it! - shouted Ghoulneki from his accountable post - Write him something beautiful! Something... I don't know what but it must be romantic and...  
\- Hide never was fond of reading - noticed Kuro a bit confused. Three of them heard  
admin's voice equally good.  
\- It's not about reading! It's about a poem from the boyfriend! - insisted Ghoulneki.  
Shiro crunched his finger... And in that very moment the cellphone made a sound making everyone jump up. Everyone but Shironeki. He stared at the screen being deadly pale. Absolutely unable to talk or move. Kuro and Haise looked at the cellphone at the same time. It was a message. From Hide.  
****************

\- Yo, men! I'm glad I can talk to U, guys, now. What's up men? Hey, don't be confused. I know the difference. Gomen if I call my childhood friend "Kaneki". That's a habit. I mean Kuroneki in such cases. Hey, Shiro, are U ok?  
*********************  
Haise frowned from the distant, not his but anyway painful memories. Shironeki never let him see what happened to him two years ago...  
\- He means he knows what happened to U, right?..  
Shiro crunched fingers several times almost curling into a ball between Kuro and Haise:  
\- ...He entrusted me to fight Arima. I lost... I... I fucked up...  
\- Fucking stop that!!!! - Kuroneki jumped up from the sofa and hit Shiro's head with the closest book (this fact itself meant he was on the edge of his patience. In any other case he wouldn't risk to damage books). Shironeki instinctively moved back which happened to be closer to Sasaki who immediately locked him in motherly embrace hiding him from Kuro's outburst and petting his head soothingly.  
\- He never! NEVER! Asked U to beat Arima! He won't think U are a shame!! He won't laugh at U!! He won't push U away!!! Fuuuuck!!! This time I really DO know better!!!!!!!!! He asked U only to go and fight!!!! He never asked to bring him victory!! Now go and talk to him!!!!!! I know U always wanted to!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
No. Shironeki wasn't able to talk right now. Still completely shocked with both a hug and an outburst he just helplessly stared at them both in disbelief. The world has gone completely crazy... And on the top of that the cellphone made a noise again...  
********************  
Hey, Kaneki, bro, could U send Shiro to me somehow? I'm in the park near your house now. I have things to talk to him. Then I hope to see U again and to meet all of U, guys. At least I hope I already have a permission...  
***************************

... Or just tell me to fuck off, ok? It not really hot here ya know....  
*********************  
Shiro desperately looked at his Neki-relatives...  
\- What are U waiting for??? Go!!! - in several voices...  
In a second blond boy silently disappeared in black square of the window...  
******************  
CCG Shinigami Arima Kishou frowned at the half-ghoul jumping out of his window. It was possible to use the stairs after all... He sipped coffee dessert he took from the window ledge some time ago and returned to his network talk:  
\- Are U watching them?  
\- Sure. I'm partly responsible for this after all.  
\- U know... Arigato...  
*******************************


	4. Sunflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still same... Awkward date...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I renamed chapters. Just fed up with myself being unable to call the work at least somehow. Gonna call everything with names of flowers. Case closed. ^>•

...It was him. Of course. Not a stupid joke. Not a trap (although who knows...). Just him. Just like Shiro saw him last time... May be just a little bit older... Of course he is... And his hair are a bit longer. Died in a beautiful caramel blond. A bit different from the last time. A bit... He still remembered every small detail about their last meeting. That very one when they actually had their first talk. He remembered it as if it was a second ago... Hide's hand on his shoulder. His light brushing touch over his cheek and neck. So painfully friendly and natural. His wide smile. Reassuring voice... Sunflowers... Field of sunflowers almost hot from midday Sun... Isn't it stupid to fall completely for memories of your doppelgänger?.. Ok, ok. Actually Kuro isn't a doppelgänger. The two of them are different persons with different life stories after all. But... It was so nice to share Kuro's memories... To remember the life full of Hide and books. And accidental touches, and hugs. Lots of hugs. And sleepovers every week. And walking together every evening... Things that Kuroneki shared with him... He must bring it all back. Must remember his own past. Must do something about it. Must stop dragging them all into tragedy. Must bring Kuro back to Hide and their soft and warm everyday life. But... Please... Just. A little bit more...  
\- Yo, man! Hey, U're even cuter without that mask, U know!  
WHAAAAAAAT?????!!!!!!!!!  
No, he definitely wasn't ready for this. Hide smiled even brighter, stretching his hand (slowly enough not to scare half-ghoul) and touched his cheek slightly:  
\- Heh. U're blushing just like Kaneki. Umm... Gomen, bro. Kuroneki. Are U guys sure U're not brothers or something? Well U know how it always turns out to be in stupid movies?..  
His fingers... Are... Cold...  
\- ...Cold... - of course Shironeki tried hard to sound normal. All he wanted to ask was if Hide is freezing and may be they should go somewhere like Starbacks or even (fuck U, Arima) to Sasaki's place. But... This touch... This smile... (Fuck, Tsukiyama, where are U when U're needed the most??!! If only he could pretend to attack, Shiro would knew what to do. He always knew what to do only in battle. Mental as well as physical.)  
\- Ouch! Gomen-gomen! - Hide frowned surprised and a bit guilty, took of his jacket and wrapped around blond's shoulders:  
\- I thought ghouls feel cold less. Although. My bad, bro. U really are wearing too thin shirt.  
His hands. That soft and cold hands were still there. Near Shiro's face holding the jacked wrapped tight. And his body is so close... Suffocating... Words. Never being said. Suffocating and painful. Never known hugs. So real. But not his. Never known...  
Hide smiled again with a strange expression: understanding and support and a kind of sadness... Although. No. More like... Disappointment?  
\- Hey, man, we can go somewhere if U want? Or just sit somewhere here and share a coffee. - He pointed at his bag - I have some with me.  
Shironeki nodded without specifying to what exactly. Cold hand slowly covered his fingers and Hide gently pulled him forward - to have a small walk.  
"My best friend... My only friend..." Kuro's memories... Walking hand in hand with Kuroneki's sunny past... What if to pretend that it's his past as well... Will it be ok then to lean closer to this arm?..  
Hide's playful push to the shoulder interrupted his insanity:  
\- U know what! Midnight walk, intertwined fingers, my jacket on your shoulders. It's a date!!!  
...Good thing humans don't see in the darkness properly... There's still a chance he won't notice the crimson blush on half-ghoul's face...  
\- Ma'Lady, let's sit here and lemme serve your royal coffee, your majesty! - Hide stooped a bit still laughing and not letting go of Shiro's hand.  
\- Hey, it was your sacred duty to play a fairy princess, am I mistaken?!! - Shironeki laughed back pretending to try to kick Hide.  
...Only when their stupid mess ended up on the bench, sitting side by side with two mugs of coffee from the thermos (seriously, Hide, canned one could be enough!!! */////*) , Shiro realized that it was the first time he was laughing since that day in Aogiri base when he woke up instead of Kuro...  
****************************

\- U know, bro... May be it's miserable - to say such things after it all but... U know... I'm sorry. - Hide exhaled without any warning after some time of lulling silence.  
\- For?.. What?.. - no, Shiro definitely didn't understand. Will investigators appear to eliminate him? Or other ghouls? Was Hide just a bait? It will be... Sad?..  
\- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare U!!! That's ok! - Hideyoshi's hand laid on Shiro's knee soothingly - I'm talking about the past.  
He frowned squeezing his hand on half-ghoul's limb:  
\- U... U have a right to know. If U'd kill me then, I don't mind... I... That time. When I sent U to fight Arima... I had a deal with him and CCG. It's me who's responsible for turning U into living quinque... Just... Please... U had no chance. Everyone would hunt U. The only safe place in the world is behind your all-mighty enemy's back... I... I just wanted U to be protected by CCG Shinigami...  
He sigh guiltily not looking at Shironeki but moved closer. Or better to say - even more close... As if trying to apologize by sharing the warmth of his body...  
... May be Shiro could be shocked. Or mad. Or anything else. But he barely listened to Hide's self-blaming speech. Because all this time his hand absent-mindedly stroke Shiro's knee. Sometimes just squeezing toned flash, sometimes moving higher, almost tracing his thigh. Of course Shironeki was absolutely red. And hard as hell...  
No, seriously. Who on the Earth could stay calm in a situation like this?? He tensed up, clinching to the mug and trying to cover his face with it somehow. But as if this wasn't enough, Hide unexpectedly changed his position. Now he was on his knees in front of Shiro, ruffling his clothes, petting white hair soothingly and desperately trying to look into almost colorless grey eyes:  
\- Please... Please, say something...  
Fuck U, Yamori! U have no slightest clue what a torture really is!!!  
No, Hide! Don't give a hug from position like that! And what's more important - don't bury your face into other person's laps! Of course until U have a mischievous plan...  
Calm down... Calm down for what ever it takes... That's... That's just a blood afflux to the certain organ, right? That means if to make the blood move to another place the arousal must calm down. Ok... Kakugan... Kagune itself needs a lot of blood. So activating the ghoul-eye must be enough... Shiro tilted his head to the side covering the kakugan with that very mug... May be Hide won't notice...  
-Wow...  
Eh? Hideyoshi, what are U talking abo... WHAT??!!  
... Of course it was kagune. His own six-clawed rinkaku. No one fucking warned him it'll be too easy now - when the whole body is kagune itself - to release it. Too easy to control properly. It just followed kakugan. Shironeki froze staring at Hide.  
He smiled looking at the half-ghoul. With peaceful, innocent and somehow guilty smile:  
\- Beautiful... U'll be the most beautiful death I could ever imagine...  
\- I... Never... Don't... Not. Gonna. Hurt. U. Ever. - finally Shiro made up his mind to make at least something clear.  
\- That's a relief! - Hide winked to the blond making a face. But his cheerful grin was still here. Still warm and reassuring but dreamy as well for now.  
\- Ya know... - he snuggled to Shironeki's legs laying his hands and chin on his laps (successfully making it's impossible - to remove the kagune... Because of the certain reason...) - Don't get it wrong. I love Kane... Kuroneki. I love him as my best friend. But... I felt it for a long time - that something is wrong... No. Not wrong. That something is different about him. Umm... Have U ever seen a ghost?  
Sudden weird question left Shiro to stare blankly while Hide absent-mindedly grabbed his hands as if trying to warm them up (despite of the fact that blond's hands were warmer then his own), leant to his fingers with a cheek and placed a small kiss over them. As if it was the most natural thing to do...  
\- Well it was as if noticing a ghost. When U clearly feel there's another person here besides the two of U but can't find the logical explanation... So I began some researches... Well... It's a long story... Next time, ok? I know U can't stay separated for too long. U need to be at least close to each other... Just... What I want U to know is... I knew about U from the almost very beginning. Much earlier then Rize case and shithead Kano and stuff... I chased U for so long... All this time I hoped to sit with U like this... - he grinned even more nuzzling Shironeki's hands. - Heh. U know. When I held U in my jacket I thought U could kiss me... U can't even imagine how disappointed I was when U didn't...  
He lifted his head up and winked to half-ghoul again:  
\- Creepy stalker I am, right?  
How the hell is he managed to sound that innocent??!!  
Hide stretched a bit and payed attention on rinkaku again:  
\- By the way, bro, this thing is really beautiful! Can I touch? This won't cause U any pain, right?  
With this remark he reached the kagune with both hands. Right in the place where it appeared from Shiro's waist.  
\- Wow! It's warm! And squishy! - Hide's hands were running all over rinkaku and Shiro's back as well... And on the top of that he almost fell between blond's knees pressing his cheek to half-ghoul's abdomen in his childish attempt to touch as much as he could...  
For the fuck sake!!!! Hideyoshi Nagachika!!!! Pleeeeeeease!!! Show at least some decency!!!!!  
Of course he didn't... How the hell was he managed still not to notice something?... Something caused by his incautious actions...  
**************************

All this time the flawless CCG Shinigami Arima Kishou set on the windowsill with a laptop being extremely busy. No, he didn't made any research or investigation or report. He was hopelessly sinking into blabling on the web. But not just blabling. If to specify - he was meanly gossiping about Shironeki's love life. (All the existing Kami, arigato gozaimasu noone from doves ever saw him like that: curious and exited, smirking and blushing, pouting bubbles from strawberry bubblegum and clearly flirting with a person he talked to. At least he himself thought he was clearly flirting...)

<3: That ginger boy is an evil genius, believe me! Ahaha! If only U could have seen that!!!! That was the highest level of pick-up!!! Ahahaha! Poor blond kid!!! He even wasn't managed to hide his kagune!! U understand what it means, right?;3

Shinigami: Ummm *////* Not really... Kagune? For what? U said it went good before. ^?-?^

<3: Oh, My!!!! Seriously, what's wrong with U today? I guess U need to have a rest, baby. 

Shinigami: Grrrrrrrrrrr...

<3: C'mon, kiddo, I'm serious! U need to sleep. I'll watch them and follow them until they both are safe. Ok? 

Shinigami: But they could go to the two different sides!

<3: In this case I'll text U. U can always order him to bring Nagachika-chan to your place

Shinigami: But before I'm gonna wait with U... Do U really see all the road from that distance?

<3: Babe! It's a telescopic sight! I can see even your hair clip! 

Shinigami: Basically U've just said U're aiming at me with a rifle. Ahaha! How cute!

<3: I'm aiming at your heart but never with a rifle... 

Shinigami: Stop that already!! ^///////^

**************************

There was the only one thing Shironeki was able to do to save the remains of his decency. And of course he tried it out despite of the bitter feeling that he would regret it later. He desperately called for their admin with a one important request... They were able to hear each other if the distance is not too big. No, not thoughts-reading or something. It's just trace of rc-molecules in the air. The information goes through them. Very alike to the way animals are getting information sniffing the wind.  
Kuro, please... Hurry...  
Sounds of steps. Running steps. Kuroneki, U're much faster now. And much more silent. Human's ear can't recognize your moves anymore. But why did Hide turn his head to the right direction a second before black-haired boy bumped into the two of them?.. Kuroneki cramped them both with hands and kagune at once, felt the mutual embrace and burst into tears.  
*************************

When they finally got close to Sasaki's (actually Arima's but who cares...) home it was early morning already. At least first blinks of the Sun already appeared.  
Tall skinny boy in weird clothes almost bumped into them in the doors, blindly found the item he dropped and rushed forward whispering curses half-heartedly.  
Shiro breathed the air as if suspecting something... Then shook his head shrugging the strangely familiar feeling off.  
\- Hey, men... - Hide squeezed their hands a bit, frowning (all the way home they walked like that - holding hands all the three of them with Hide in the middle. Just like in childhood...) - There are no other doves living in this very block. Right?  
Kuro nodded.  
\- But a thing that guy dropped. It was a brief-case... I could think it's just something similar to it. But he had a CCG uniform coat in the other hand...


	5. Snowdrops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juuzo/Haise sweet memories.

Of course that night noone slept. Neki-family - because of Hide, Hide because of Shiro and quinques squad - just because... Arima went away through another exit so they didn't meet him at all. (Not like Shiro was against...) and sent Sasaki a message letting them all to have a day-off. Why on the Earth?!... Although... Who cares. That was good anyway.   
Quinques buddies ended up falling asleep curling into a ball together on Saiko's bed while she was passing the level and Shirazu and Mutsuki were making a fuzz about their cute neighbor Tooru saw several times but still wasn't able to say in what apartment he lives. Urie set on the window ledge with a smartphone and tsundere-like "Fuck the hell off, Sasaki. I'll watch them without your motherly ass". And of course dizzied off the first.   
Hide and Shiro were still in the library (Sasaki seriously suspected they fell asleep right where they were). Kuro had already returned to his kagune place. It turned out to be easy. As soon as Number4 activated the process, his form had changed into bloody-like liquid and disappeared into Haise's hands. Considering to the dead silence from the admin, Ghoul-chan was affectionally terrorizing Kuro with questions.   
And Sasaki was napping on the couch right where he brought Kuro back.   
When the front door was unlocked and thin figure silently moved right to Haise only Shironeki stepped out of the room to check up what's happening but rather soon nodded to the visitor and turned back in relief.   
Hide were rubbing his eyes looking at the blond questionably. Shiro waved his hand in calming gesture:   
\- It's Suzuya. 

**************************

Despite of everything Sasaki was hopelessly nonchalant. When girlishly thin arms lifted him up from the couch without any noticeable effort, he happily embraced the person, not opening eyes, and nuzzled his shoulder with a cheek:  
\- Juuzou...   
\- That was Shiro, right? - he nodded to the library door thoughtfully.   
Haise made an unclear sound of agreement finally remembering that noone here ever saw his shinkies before. Well... At least it didn't end up with an accidental fight. Good day...   
He didn't open his eyes all the way Juuzou brought him to the bedroom but when he laid him to the sheets Sasaki abruptly tightened grip on sweetheart's shoulders dragging him to the bed too. Juuzou strangely easy let him do it surrendering under his stupid grin, clumsy embrace and sloppy kisses all over his face. He just laid on top of Sasaki supporting himself with elbows not to press him with all weight and looked at the lover with strangely blank look. Without a smile and almost not blinking. As if he had no idea how to make an expression to show his feelings.   
Haise cupped his face with both hands stroking his cheek:  
\- I thought U won't return until tomorrow evening. Your squad will have the first train and it'll be only in the morning. Don't tell me U made all the way by foot during the night?!  
Juuzou just shrugged his shoulders indifferently. That meant 'yes'...  
\- Crazy kid! - Haise tried to get up rubbing his eyes and desperately trying to make his sleepy brain work. - We need to have a shower and U're surely hungry and...   
Thin hand on the waist stopped him:  
\- Mmmm... Gimme a hour, ok...  
This time Juuzou sounded exhausted. He didn't even open his eyes. Just dragged Sasaki closer and sigh in relief feeling lover's head on his shoulder. Haise hesitated a second only to take off Juuzou's hair clips and peck his lips tenderly. The corner of Juuzou's mouth shivered unconsciously in a small smile. Sasaki kissed that corner again, locked the small frame into tight embrace and buried his face into lover's chest. 

***********************

Of course investigator Suzuya wasn't supposed to be here today. His squad had a task out of Tokyo. But task was fulfilled so he decided, as he explained later, to return a bit (!) earlier. And of course he had keys from Arima's apartment because Sasaki lives here and quinques squad too, and they have to train and who knows what else. Sometimes Sasaki asked himself if their adoptive daddy (where on the Earth could a person be admited as a parent being hardly seven years older then the other one???... But who cares...) feels uncomfortable about keeping a bunch of living armors which easily turned his lonely apartment into a complete mess. But seems like their master was always somewhere not here inside his mind and hardly even noticed their existence until they needed something.   
Almost sleeping Haise reached to stroke silky black hair again. He always did it when they fell asleep together. Just like that day. When they had their first kiss...

*************************

If someone had asked Haise how exactly did that kiss happened he wouldn't had been able to answer for sure. Although he remembered it as if it was a minute ago. That very stupid game, bottle, Juuzou's laps, laugh all around, questioning look on his beautiful face. Thin fingers stroking his hair. And then suddenly taste of his lips... With shadows of vine and Haise's cooking (no wonder this time human's meal didn't seem unpleasant for him) and... happiness...?   
What Sasaki really didn't remember was how they got into the bedroom. Only there, dropping each other's clothes on the floor, he possessed the ability to speak again whispering the predictable "I love U" in that very "ai" way. It was when he noticed that blank Juuzou's expression for the first time. He tilted his head to the side staring at Sasaki as if had just saw something beyond all the logic and possibilities. No, not shocked or at least surprised. Just unable to realize how is it possible at all. 

Haise's hands were soft. Warm and unexpectedly soft for a person who has to deal with armor every day. May be it was his ghoul regeneration which kept his skin velvet and his hair silky and all his body so enjoyable to touch.   
Suzuya traced his fingers over slim but toned frames and touched Haise's shoulder with lips. A bit unsure as if not really knowing if he won't disappear as a rare good dream. But he didn't, so Juuzou kissed him more hugging tighter. So enjoyable... Just like the morning Sun. He still remembered that feeling. When he happened to feel the warmth of the Sun rays for the first time. It was accidentally (normally he wasn't allowed to leave his basement) and he just stayed on the golden square of the warmth letting it go over his scarred skin unable to completely realize if this thing is for real.   
Sasaki's hands cupped his face:  
\- I love U... I love U... Love U so much... From the very first second... I had no courage to tell U earlier... I love U...   
He was frantically dropping butterfly kisses on multiple scars of lover's body. Such a strange half lust, half compassion.   
And even a bit of remorse for something.   
Water drops between kisses over red stitches. Haise, are U crying?.. Juuzou gently pushed him to sit on the bed, embraced, pressing his head to the chest and began to stroke his hair with a bit unsure gesture:  
\- There... There... That's ok...  
...Seemed like it was supposed to be done this way. When precious one was crying. At least according to what investigator Suzuya ever saw and read. Sasaki leaned in, returning the embrace with one hand and stroking the artificial leg with another one:   
\- I'm... I'm sorry... I wish I could be there for U earlier... Much earlier... U suffered so much...   
\- U didn't even exist that time. - Juuzou cut him off indifferently. Haise loosened his grip a bit to bend down and kiss the line between the protestic and the real flesh. Such a strange sympathy... But pleasant as well...   
\- Then... U already know... That I'm just an experiment. Not a human. Not even a ghoul. Just a vessel for several armors. I'm just a fake from the very beginning...   
Juuzou made an irritated sound pulling lover closer and hit his head slightly (although it turned out to be not so slightly...):  
\- U're not fake. U're unique.   
When Haise lifted his head up with questioning look boss Suzuya met him with another clumsy and impatient kiss and pushed forward slightly making lay on the bed. Then crawled on the top of sweetheart and pressed his hands to the sheets, intertwining their fingers and staring in Sasaki's eyes with strange expression. Without any remain of his usual insane smile, weirdly serious and...concentrated?... As a person being forced to speak foreign language for the first time:   
\- I. Do. Love. U.   
Aishiteru... The word that is supposed to be said once in an entire life... Hopeless... No hope to hold tears back... Sasaki sobbed blushing and reached to kiss lover's fingers. Juuzou bended to him still with thoughtful and slightly worried look:  
\- Haise, why are U crying? Did I hurt U?   
He cautiously let go of sweetheart's hands and wiped his tears with unsure but tender move.   
\- No! Of course not! - Sasaki almost jumped on the bed, catching lover's hand again and kissing the palm - I'm just... Happy...  
\- Happy?... - now investigator Suzuya looked even more concentrated. He frowned a bit thinking it over - Well... As for me... I did smile when I was scared... I did laugh when I was in pain... But don't remember myself crying in such cases. So... I guess to cry from happiness is possible.  
He looked at Haise with a serious expression of a person who had just solved an important scientific question. Something inside crimson eyes were open almost letting to see through the soul. He laid Sasaki back to the pillows, placed an unskilled kiss on his neck and let out a shy smile.


End file.
